If your lonely, you are not alone!

If your lonely, you are not alone!

So firstly I want to say a huge thank you for everyone reading my blog with nearly 12,000 views now I’m still in shock. Never in my wildest dreams did I think my blog would be such a success but on that note my friend actually give me a great idea to add some variation to it, she suggested I have guest bloggers on! So thats exactly what I’m going to do, if you would like me to share you post or an article you’ve written just comment below or private message me and l will share it!

I began writing this blog last night after several discussions with my friends about loneliness and am finishing it off this evening after an amazing catch up with one of my closest friends. She lives on the other side of the world and yet after just a few minutes chatting to her I feel so incredibly happy this just proves that surrounding yourself with positive people creates even more positivity.

So first of all I want to say that loneliness every human being feels at some point in their life and that it is not a sign of weakness it is a feeling and no feeling could ever be a sign of weakness. 

Wikipedia describes it as:

Loneliness is a complex and usually unpleasant emotional response to isolation or lack of companionship. Loneliness typically includes anxious feelings about a lack of connectedness or communality with other beings, both in the present and extending into the future. As such, loneliness can be felt even when surrounded by other people. The causes of loneliness are varied and include social, mental or emotional factors.

Research has shown that loneliness is widely prevalent throughout society among people in marriages, relationships, families and successful careers.^[1] It has been a long explored theme in the literature of human beings since classical antiquity. Loneliness has also been described as social pain — a psychological mechanism meant to alert an individual of isolation and motivate him/her to seek social connections.^[2]

A feeling or emotion is simply what you are feeling so never apologise for it, if you are actually acknowledging them and expressing your feelings this is a sign of strength, don’t fear what people may think! Simply be who you are and say what you are feeling, the right people will always be there for you. If you can honestly say you have not felt loneliness at any stage in your life then your are simply blessed (and I want to hear how haha).

For some people this feeling of loneliness is an actual constant feeling. I spent the last few hours thinking about this because a few weeks ago I had a horrible experience which being honest have become non - existent in my life. I was in a situation where someone was so rude to me I literally had to walk away from them.

Now normally being me I have always had quite a strong character, do not ask me where I got it from, I’d say the experience of bullying in school which I’m sure we've all had, is one reason. But they do say these episodes make you who you are and I definitely know it did, it thought me to let peoples negatives words slide of me. 

Since moving to London this has become a useful skill and it really is the only way to remain happy and positive. So l would consider myself even stronger in character now, I have no problem being open and honest as I’m really comfortable in who I am. But for some reason on this occasion this person being so rude really had a huge impact on me, looking back I think it was because I have not been in such a negative environment in a very a long time. Normally other peoples opinions or attitudes don’t influence me in a any way at all it is simply "water of a ducks back". I believe in positivity and being kind so if something or someone is not, that then it doesn’t serve me and I ignore it. But this negativity was so strong it consumed me and the following day I still couldn’t forget it, I woke up feeling strange, unmotivated and sad, I felt like I didn’t want to do to anything. I almost didn’t get out of bed. 

I had to think why am I feeling this way of course I knew straight away it was from this negative experience and that person being so rude to me. I reluctantly got of of bed, thinking maybe if I made myself my favourite breakfast that might cheer me up, but it didn’t. So I thought ok I will have a shower and get dressed up that will definitely work, but it didn’t either. After some retail therapy and trying to call some of my friends for a catch up to which I got voicemail messages I felt even more lonely.

I couldn't understand why I felt so alone, I have so many friends and a huge supportive family but thats exactly how I felt, completely alone. I knew I needed to do something drastic to change how I was feeling. So as i was walking along the street I began thinking what can I do to get out of this slump and then it hit me. Eureeeeekka. I’m always reading about it, I’ve researched it, wrote about it and went to speeches about but had completely forgotten.

I had forgotten I was created to be loved!!!! I had forgotten for nearly a whole day that I am loved.

Each and every single one of us was created to be loved and whether we know or not I’m telling you now you are! Please take some comfort in this fact alone. You do not need to have  a million friends in fact you could have none, no family, not even one single human being who cares about you but you are still loved. Whatever you call this power who loves you God, the universe, allah, the supreme self, the light, the higher power or even if you believe in nothing fortunately for us it is not a choice we were created for this purpose so believe me YOU ARE! 

This is something you can learn really through just really thinking about it meditating on it and really feeling the love.

If it helps think of the love you feel from your friendships and try and imagine that but ten times stronger and unceasing even if you did something horrendous a really horrible thing this would still not stop this flow of love towards you.That is because in is unconditional. Doing this alone will help you realise you are whole by yourself, you do not need any one to add to you, YOU are whole and loved completely in mind body and soul. This can sometimes be a struggle for everyone form all paths to understand as society almost always suggests otherwise but I dare you just try and sit quietly for a few minutes feel it, focus on your heart and the warmt in it and you will know it to be true.

I hope you feel inspired

Loves Annie xxx